Dear American Idol

I have been watching you since the beginning. You've jumped the shark. Sorry. Here's the thing...you are now editing the show so ridiculously, that even the stupidest of sheep can figure out the formula of these auditions. Where the hell is the suspense? Gone...it's just gone. So, if I see you focusing on a potential singer, and I see B-roll of them at home or outside of the audition area, I know that they are going through to Hollywood before they even enter the audition room. Also, if there is any sort of sob story attached to the person being focused on, again, I know they are Hollywood bound. If I see B-roll of someone that is only shot in and around the area of the audition, I know that they are going to suck. Even a moron watching can figure this shit out. Thanks for taking the last shred of suspense from the show, that's totally what it needed to change things up.... it really makes me want to watch the show THAT MUCH MORE. Really.

Dear Lifetime Movie Network

Yesterday I watched Destination: Infestation. First....who named this movie? That's just first. Second, Third, and Fourth.....if I were on a plane, and found out that there were killer mutant ants holed up underneath the plane...yes I would be scared shitless.....however.....when I then found out that the 2 smartest people on the plane were Antonio Sabato Jr. and Jesssalyn Gislig, and they were the ones that could save us, I wouldn't be scared of the ants anymore. Thanks for some more great programming LMN.